Coach CK – Craig Kaufman

Personal accountability.
I used to suck at it.

Now I am less shitty. Hahah.

Still not good. Far from great. But it’s on my radar.

Personal responsibility means it’s on me to figure it out. Seems simple. Seems like something I should have realized before my 38th birthday but what can I say, I played the victim and waited for others to change instead of changing myself. Not in all areas but definitely in some major ones. It’s embarrassing but now owning it I feel empowered. I can control my outcomes not wait for someone else to change and then hope things get better!

I’m grateful for Gods grace and the grace of people that love me. I think when people know you truly love them and truly care about them, they tend to extend you grace when you fuck up because they know you mean well. However this can be detrimental to the person because they never have a consequence and they start to make a habit of dropping the ball. Then it becomes a pattern that is hard to break.

This is still new to me but it’s empowering and wanted to share my journey.

Where in your journey can you take more responsibility for your results? Nutrition? Your marriage? Your job?? Yep all of the above I’m sure.

Do some self reflections today on where you are not getting the results you want and ask yourself how can you change your current routines or environment to better achieve the results you truly desire.

Have a great day!

Coach CK

If I just keep grinding, I’ll eventually get there.

If only I was more disciplined.

I just need to work a little harder. A little longer. And things will turn around.

I workout so hard, why isn’t this weight coming off.

Doesn’t my wife see how hard I work, she should be happy.

God will reward me if I work hard and suffer.

Bull. Shit. Hard work is not the answer. Hard work is sedation and a way to hide behind the lies you have created that you are doing the required work to get the result you desire.

Hard work is a mask. It’s a trick. Those lies and stories I typed above sound a lot like things I have thought or said, and I’m sure you have too at some point in your life.

Now don’t get me wrong, hard work is a valuable part of the equation, but if you are a slave to working hard without setting the intention behind it, you could be running a mile in the wrong direction. And it doesn’t matter if you are sprinting while carrying an 80lb backpack just so everyone knows how tough you and and how hard you are working, if you don’t have a map, then you might as well be running in circles.

…if you are a slave to working hard without setting the intention behind it, you could be running a mile in the wrong direction

The road map. The coach. The guide.

So you are ready to bust your ass? What’s next?
Despite the picture I painted above, hard work is NOT a bad thing. Its just not the whole picture. So how do we prevent wasting our energy and resources and ending up with NO FRUIT at the end of the day. How do we prevent ending up burnt out, at the end of our rope, and giving up on our dream.

Well I’m glad you asked because I’ve been that guy. Super hard worker. But avoiding the required work. Until I woke up to the fact that I wasn’t just going to get where I wanted to be by accident. I needed directions. And I needed a map. I needed something to reference every single day so that I could figure out WHAT the required work was to get to my target, and I needed to create a blueprint for getting there. And I needed to change my pace of life so that I created TIME and MARGIN to check the damn map every day and make sure I was still on course.

See it sounds simple but I would
Create a beautiful map and then I would put it in my backpack and I would load up my 80lbs of gear and I would take off sprinting.

“Let’s go! 😤 I just got a vision from God! This is my calling. This is what I’m supposed to be doing!”

And then I would run around in circles as fast as a could with my head down. Praying and hoping and wondering why the heck I wasn’t any closer to my target. So I might stop and regroup and then start running again. Maybe this time in a different direction. Hoping. Praying. And still not taking the damn map i made out of my backpack.

See the required work might be simple. And it can be. But it is never easy. And by me conveniently keeping my map in my backpack and not in my face, it was easy to forget and avoid the exact steps I needed to take to reach my destination. So instead I got tired and frustrated and then I finally pulled the map back out and I felt like an idiot. It was right there in front of me the whole time.

See we all have the ability to create our own map. We just need a guide or a teacher to show us how to do it. But if we spend the money on the teacher and make a beautiful map, and we don’t stop to read it and take the steps it’s telling us to take, we will still never reach our destination.

So let me my pain and my investments be a lesson to you. You are not doing anything wrong. It’s just the simple truth that you haven’t been told.

You need a guide.

You need more than hard work.

Successful people pay for people to show them how to get a result. And then they do it. The do the work in front of them. They follow the map they have created.

That’s it.

• Step 1. Find a guide that vibes with you and is already where you want to be.
• Step 2. Create the blueprint to get where you want to go with their help.
• Step 3. Follow the blueprint and Execute the plan. (Aka the hard work)

If you want help creating a blueprint for your life, so you can get off the hamster wheel, send me a message.

I’m currently taking on 3 personal coaching clients. For a 4 month coaching commitment. 30 days to learn the foundation. Fitness. Nutrition. Mindset. Accountability. And 90 days to create and execute the blueprint.

I’ve invested tens of thousands of dollars in coaching over the last 10 years, and have worked with hundreds of clients in the fitness space to help them achieve their fitness goals. But it was not enough. Something was missing.

This is what’s been missing.

Who cares if you have a six pack if you don’t have connection with your wife.

Who cares how skinny you are if you have no purpose, no connection to God.

Who cares how much money you made if you family falls apart and your kids don’t want to even see your face.

If you are someone like me who isn’t satisfied with success in one area, but you want it all. Then this is for you. Give yourself the gift of coaching and see how much you can accomplish in the last quarter of 2019.

Message me if interested and I’ll send you my link to schedule a 30min coaching call with you to see if you are a good fit.

Despite trying to be the best husband possible for the last 10 years, I have managed to screw it up. And to be honest, it was my top priority! This is seriously the only thing I have ever tried at and failed. The only way I started to make some progress in the right direction was to completely give up.

Sounds weird right?

I don’t mean give up on the marriage, I mean give up on trying to control the outcome myself through all this effort of trying to please her and make things right. I had to surrender to God and get on my knees.

To surrender meant that I had to admit I didn’t know what I was doing. It also meant I had to admit I was failing. That was a tough nut to swallow. I refuse to be a statistic.

Over 50% of marriages end in divorce. I was willing to do whatever it took to figure this thing out. So i started on the journey of surrender. I gave up trying to “do” and focused on my relationship with God. I realized I was making my wife’s happiness an IDOL, and that I would never maker her happy, that was up to her. On top of that, I realized how INSANE it was to think that my standard of success what her being happy all the time. That’s not even possible! Yet every time she expressed that she was upset, I took it as a personal attack on my skills as a husband and I justified why she shouldn’t feel that way!

What a doushebag.

Slowly God pulled the curtain back and I was able to see more and more ways that I was not being effective. Here is a list of some of the major things that jump out at me. Let me just say, if you are a husband that is frustrated with your wife because she is crazy, or you don’t get the sex you think you should, its time to start looking at yourself. She is trying to get your attention and she wants you to step up and lead her. That starts with leading yourself, and doing the work to make sure she is taken care of in all areas, not just financially.

The days of bringing home the bacon and thinking that’s enough are LONG gone my friend. In fact, I don’t think there ever were any days where that was cool, hahha, we just didn’t talk about it and people sucked it up and lived lives of quiet desperation instead of divorcing like they do now.

1) I was never home. My wife is a stay at home mom, who also runs a home based business and helps me with my business!  It’s a thankless stressful job and there is no real adult interaction. She is stuck doing shit all by herself and she feels like she’s going batshit crazy. She is completely overwhelmed from my lack of taking responsibility for things on the home and business end.

2) I didn’t listen to her. She tells me what she wants and I try to give her WHAT I THINK SHE NEEDS. Not the same thing. Lots of times, I helped out doing what I thought was important but not what she actually asked me to do…

3) I didn’t make her feel special. I only started to do the date night thing  very recently, and I had no consistency in when we would go out together before then.  I let weeks and months go by, making excuses why we were too busy, we didnt have the money, not finding a sitter, etc.  I never found ways to tell her I love her EVERYDAY like i do now.

4) I don’t show up when I say I am. I flake the fuck out and say I’ll be home and then shit comes up. It could be a couple minutes or a couple hours. This drives her nuts! This is why she can’t trust me. Not because she doesn’t trust me with other girls. It’s because I don’t keep my word.

5) She doesn’t feel she has a partner. I make a decent amount of money. She also makes a little money to help out. She does house stuff. She does budget. She pays bills. She schedules appt. She does shopping. She does cooking. She does clean up. She makes calls if shit needs to get scheduled. She does kids stuff. She juggles all her shit plus my shit because I can’t be depended on because I don’t keep my word. When I say Ive got it, she still has it in the back of her mind because I have dropped the ball in the past so many times!

6) I don’t let her “vent”. Sometimes life just sucks and she needs to talk about it and express herself. I cut her off because I take it as a personal attack on ME not being a good husband because I made myself responsible for her happiness

(I hate myself for that one) this is why she doesn’t feel heard, and that breaks my heart.

Here is the deal guys. I am not perfect. Hell I am not even that much better than I was, but I am on the path. I am aware, and I am consistently growing.

If you are in my shoes, or if this resonates with you at all, bookmark my site and stay tuned for my next blog where I will go into a little bit about how I was able to start to turn the corner. Again, I havent arrived anywhere, and understanding that I or any of you NEVER will arrive at a place where there is no bumps in the road is half the battle right there! I will say that I have made more growth in the last 8 weeks than inthe last 10 years combined.

Life is a game of peaks and valleys, and it always will be. Armed with the tools to navigate that terrain and the knowledge that you are not alone in the war is a great start.

Stay tuned and remember no matter what, never f*cking quit. You may think its bad, but I guarantee its not as bad as you think. You know why Jesus died on the cross in the worst horrible possible way to die, so we can never say yeah but you dont understand my situation. Guarantee it wasnt that bad. lol.

Love you guys. talk to you soon.

Coach CK